Feeling like a jerk.

This one's going to be short and sweet because I, honestly, feel like I've been hit by a Mack Truck, immediately followed by the asphalt flatten-er thingy (you know what I mean). On the 1-10 scale, I'm at a lovely 7.6. So why am I even writing, you may wonder? Well...it has to do with family, and how seriously badly I've dropped the ball. My shweetie has a brother who has two amazingly beautiful/handsome, polite, smart, and very pleasant to be around teenagers.

Our Niece, Jessica, was born the day after I met my shweetie, August 13 (making her 16 now) and our Nephew, Calvin, was born 13 years ago just days before my birthday. His being Sept. 27th (I'm almost positive...see??? I suck) and mine being Sept. 29th. They've both been through some pretty rough stuff with their parents getting divorced, moving all over the place, and then become a "blended" family when their mom remarried, and then their dad (no kids from their dad's partner, but it still is a hard adjustment. These two, from what little I can garner, Facebook being a place that brought us all back together a bit...it's easier to connect with my niece because 13 year old 6' foot tall boys are not my forte.

OK...let me just lay it out there...Kids...from about newborn to 29ish *snort*...are Not. My. Forte.
I have my little 18 year old 5'11'' sister, Mollye, whom I would give me life for, but she's different somehow. I don't know why, but she got a free pass on the "Kids get on my freakin' nerves" train. I still drop the ball. I don't call enough, write enough, remember important dates enough, and I do the same thing with my god-daughter, Ashley, as the same thing with our niece and nephew....and I haven't talked to my cousin Vanessa who is 16 years my junior, in YEARS.

Here's the kicker...I LOVE to spoil them when I'm with them, and it ends up looking like a feel all guilty so I'm over compensating. It's not that black and white. If they were in my daily life, I would spoil them rotten every day I could. I LOVE buying them gifts...but it's almost an out of sight out of mind thing for me, especially now with me being so sick and unable to keep up on email and facebook.

These are all amazing, beautiful, precious creations of this Universe...and I'm just a big honkin' jerk that forgets to show them that they matter. Not just with material things, but with my time, my wisdom, me life experience, my ears open.

J.E.R.K.

Well...so much for a short and sweet post. I feel worse now. I hope they know that I do care...it's just a different way of showing it.

Till next time,
*Una*bridged.